Happy VD!

I'd just like to let everyone know, that I have had a valentine every year.  EVERY year.

2013: Mom.
2012: Mom.
2011: Mom.
2010: Yup.
2009: You guessed it.
2008: Right.  Again.
2007: Uh-huh.
2006: I guess you could...
2005: Just skip...
2004: down... a bit.
2003: Oh wait!!  No.  No.  That was the girl who sent herself flowers from her "boyfriend," in high school.
2002: Hmm.
1991-2001: Classmates, and most likely, Mama (please say that in the Guillermo del Toro movie way).
1990: Montessori School Teachers + those fast learners who could put together what were possibly letters.
1989: Montessori School Teachers.
1988: Cookie, our mail lady.
1987: The World.  Everyone fucking loves babies.

I don't know... "Chopped" is preeeeety romantic...

The above trends would indicate that I have never had a true Valentine.  Whatever that means.  Patti Stanger would know.  Anyways, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  Except starvation, which makes you weaker.  And then kills you.

That being said, I don't mind Valentine's.  I really don't.  You know what's great about being alone?  FLEX-I-BILITY.

"Hey, what are in the mood for tonight?"
"Oh, I don't know -- I wanted to finish 'House of Cards.'"
"Me too!"
"Great, do you mind if I paint my nails during it?"
"No!  I want to do that, too!"
(The conversation occurring in my mind when I get home.)

I don't have to go to dinner/buy gifts/tell my mother that my boyfriend has yet to propose.  Still.

The perfect visual interpretation of Valentine's Day.

(Oh, yes, that is in fact my mother's "whip."  There should be a blog post dedicated to that guy sometime soon.)

Tonight, I am going to a friend's Val-D party, where I will binge on barbacoa in button-less pants, and find somewhere comfortable to lay on my stomach.  I hope you all have a Flo Rida-y good time as well.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!