No Change

I've just learned that Entertainment isn't the only industry where bosses make you fetch their coffee.  My bossmother asked me to grab her a large decaf cappuccino with lots of sugar.  "Like Grandma Rose, Manischewitz sweet."  She then handed me a $20 and a motion of dismissal.

At the neighborhood coffee shoppe (Caribou Coffee), I picked up her capp and a small fruit cup for myself. I slightly regret the decision because it was like 80% melon, and as everyone knows melons are the worst part of fruit salads.  Why are they there?  Who said we HAVE TO HAVE melons in fruit salads.  Is there an anti-melon movement?  Do they have twitter?  I am on board and you have my full backing.  Not financial, just emotional.

I came back into the office, handed her the cup, and strolled out pulling the patented timeless teenage move.

Mom: Jen.

I stopped right outside her office, not turning around.

Me: Yes.

Mom: Jen.

Me: Uh-huh.

Mom: Jen?

Me: Yup?

I slowly turned around and faced her.

Mom: Are you forgetting something?

Me: Nope, I got my fruit cup.

Mom: You sure?

Me: Yeah...

Mom: Change?

She put her palm out in front of her.

Me: Oh yeah.  Right.  Your change.  You know what, coffee prices have spiked.

Mom: In the last 24 hours?

Me: Yes.

Mom: Is this some sort of special coffee?

Me: Yes, it's the one where the beans are pooped out of an animal.

Mom: Ah, I see.  Did Chavez have anything to do with the market change.

Me: No, but his parrot did.

Mom: Got it.

I handed her back the $10.

Mom: Nah, you keep it.

16 year old me would've chalked this up as a victory!  26 year old me somehow sees it as panhandling with dignity.